The Yellow Wallpaper

I have mixed feelings about this story. In one aspect, I really like it because of the language and the intense journey this woman goes through. And on the other hand, it seems a little stagnant. The most interesting part of this story, to me, is the fact that this mother has post-partum depression. Of course, at the time when this story was written pot-partum was not a known thing. And, it is even speculated that Gilman had post-partum, and so she could have written this story in some semi-autobiographical light. 

I think the transition of this woman is interesting. She starts off the story being pretty normal, and thinking a lot about getting her rest after having a baby. But after a while her "condition" worsens and she begins to think thoughts that may not be real, and she has strange dreams. I just find it interesting that she creates this whole parallel life of this woman who ultimately is her demise and is kind of her. She becomes obsessed with the wallpaper and will not keep her eyes from the pattern and constantly thinks about it. 

There is a little bit of rhythm because of the shaking of the paper. Also, the word "creeping" is used a lot. The woman creeps around, the wallpaper creeps into her mind. She creeps over John at the end of the story, after she convinces herself that she is the woman who was recently relieved of her imprisonment. I think this story would be a great short film. I can just see it in my mind, and I think I might connect with it better. 

A Rose For Emily

I remember that this story was not one of my favorite. I just wasn't moved the way that I was with Hills or Where Are We Going. However, this story does have interesting components. I think the setting, of an out of date house in a Confederate town is interesting because it tells us that Emily is of a generation past and is not understood by the people around her. The new generation did not know how to deal with the formality that Emily held close to her. They also didn't seem to respect her age and I don't really understand why they were so adament to collect her tax, was it really that important? She expects to be treated the way the past generation treated her, and in her old age she was stubborn and a little rude. I think there was a culture of strong women from the Civil War era; they demanded respect and for the most part got it. I feel like I have always associated strong, powerful, matriarchical women with the Confederate South, and I'm not really sure why. She wouldn't tell the pharmacist what the poison was for, and stared him down so he would stop asking questions. She was very pushy.

Emily was obviously a very stubborn woman, and did things no matter what people said. I think she must have had some mental problem as well, because she kept her father's corpse in the house. Mental illness could have been in her family because her great-aunt went crazy. Perhaps she was just terrified of the thought of being alone; her father had driven away lots of men and I wonder if that made her idealize her father to the point where she was sort of in love with him. He was perfect in her eyes, glorified by his actions. 

I think she killed Homer because she was so terrified of him leaving or not being in love with her that she wanted to preserve him so that she could have him forever. Her memory of him, or the memory she created of him was much more powerful to her if he was dead, because then she was in control. It is almost romantic that she slept with him in the bed, but it is definately proof that she had mental challenges, because normal people do not do that. I think the language in this story is very pretty, but it can be tedious at times. I wish the story was a bit more concise, but I guess that was the effect Faulkner was going for. There is a lot to be said about this story, and it is interesting, but just not one of my absolute favoites. 

Prelim essay 2 writing

The movie Ordinary People inspired my essay 2 topic....I want to discuss the ideas of communication and miscommunication within families. I think lots of problems in relationships have to do with communication or the lack of it. This movie is a prime example of a strained relationship resulting from no communication. The mother and son do not talk to each other about how they treat one another. The son is upset because he thinks the mother doesn't love him enough and the mother can not forgive him for not being the son she loved more, who died.
The father says once that they are so alike, which makes sense because that means that they both react to situations the same way, they turn into them selves and don't seek outside council which makes their feelings unknown to the world. Nothing gets resolved that way because the feelings they have are not addressed, and therefore not changed.
I also find it interesting that the mother closes herself off by pretending that everything is alright. She is so obsessed with the appearance of her family to the outside world, she does not even consider the idea that there are problems, serious problems in her family. My extended family is very similar to that. There are several things that are known to everyone in the family that just aren't talked about.
Everyone wants to be perfect, but no one is. This movie is a great example of the fractures that people have and why it is important to communicate.

Essay 2

I think I want to write about Ordinary People for my essay 2. I really loved the reality of it. I think some of the other stories that we read were too much like fantasy but this story talks so much about things that are hard to talk about. The flawed relationships were all out in the open and ready for people to see.

I'm not sure exactly what I want to talk about, but I am interested in communication, and the lack of it as well. I might focus on how communication kills relationships. There is so much to talk about from this movie it is hard to choose! I guess I have some thinking to do...I'll post updates

Ordinary People pt. 3

This movie is such a good representation of reality. I can't get over how realistic the whole thing is. And the acting is more than perfect. The people are so involved with their characters that they just attacked the roles and made it perfect. I think the best judge of good acting is when you can't see the actor in the character. 

The last part of the movie really reveals the inner personality in each character. We see that the mother doesn't want to forgive Conrad and can't get over the death of her son, but wants everyone to think that she is perfectly fine. The father just wants everyone to be mentally fine and wants what's best for Conrad and Beth. He finally accepts his own feelings and doesn't hide them from anyone. We find out that Conrad will not forgive himself for not fighting to save Buck, but chose to save himself on the boat. 

Conrad has really separated himself from everyone who knew Buck. He told one of his old friends that "it hurts too much to be around you." I can completely understand that feeling. If something bad or emotionally painful happens to me I turn internally and don't communicate with the outside world. It is easier to be alone than with people. He is also mad at Buck for letting go and slipping. And then he feels guilty about being mad because he loves his brother and knows that those feelings are wrong, even if they are natural. 

This whole movie is glued together by awkward moments. The scene where Conrad hugs his mother is so real and awkward it is almost uncomfortable to watch. But it was sweet because it shows the growth of Conrad. I think that she was so surprised but it didn't faze her at all. She didn't take that gesture and think about what Conrad wants from her. I think she is so self involved that things like that just slip right by her. She can't imaging that this person that she has made into a terrible person has changed and wants to be a part of her life. 

I think the last scene is great because it shows the communication between Conrad and his father. The movie really ends on a note that is real and personal. The therapist helped Conrad communicate and talk about his feelings instead of closing himself off. He realizes that people need other people to survive. The father once said that Conrad and his mother are very much alike, and I can see that because they were both selfish, but in different ways. The mother is selfish because she doesn't think about other people and Conrad is selfish because he doesn't believe that other people need him. I am glad that this story ended the way it did because it shows that life is ongoing and there is no definate end to it. 

Ordinary People

The movie Ordinary People is a story about a family struggling to communicate. It was made in the 1980s and was directed by Robert Redford (who I love). I like it so far, it really makes me think about the relationships and reflect on my own family. It can get a little confusing though, it is one of those movies that isn't all set up from the beginning. I really like how the viewers have to figure it out for themselves. It really is a slice of real life.

Conrad is an interesting character because he is obviously drowning in the world he is living in. We find out that he has been hospitalized for attempted suicide, which gives us a little clue about what he is feeling internally. He seems to be very internal, and not letting people know how he is really feeling. He seems to be annoyed with everyone around him. And his relationship with the lady, his mother? his father's girlfriend?, is very strained. She seems to have no patience for him and doesnt' think about him at all. 

His father is a lot more concerned with Conrad. He is uneasy to talk to him though. I don't think he knows what to say but wants to say so much. I think he wants to love Conrad so much but there is a huge wall between them. I think there is a huge wall between everybody and Conrad. Everyone except his therapist. There is at first, but the wall deteriorates over time. The therapist is the only person Conrad can talk to because he is a third party. He is not directly involved in the situation. 

We find out that the main reason for all of this unhappiness is the death of Buck, Conrad's brother. I can totally understand Conrad's perspective because I have an older sibling, and I think I would probably react the same way that Conrad did if my sister ever died suddenly. His mother most likely is destroyed by the death of her son, but wants to make it seem like she is fine. She is very selfish, and doesn't think about what would be best for Conrad, or her husband. She just runs away from her problems. I have lots of experience from people trying to hide problems from the public and keeping lives private. 

The biggest problem between the family, I think, is communication. They do not communicate at all, and therefore do not function. I really like this movie so far and I can't wait to follow the story more.

Sonny's Blues

This story is really interesting to me because of the volitile relationship between Sonny and his brother. The brother seems to resent Sonny, and maybe that's because SOnny didnt have the same goals as him and he is disappointed. It seems like he was only helping Sonny out of familial obligation, not brotherly love.
This story made me think about sibling relationships and even made me think of my relationship with my sister. I kind of feel like I act like the older sibling, and try to protect my sister even though she is older. My sister and I are very different, and some of the things that annoyed the brother about Sonny I can completely connect to. The growth of the brother through this story is interesting. Sonny changed his whole perspective just by being himself. Sonny did things for himself and tried to make the best of his deteriorating life. The brother complained a lot and felt like his life didnt suit him, like he was better than his life, yet he didnt do anything to change his situation. The brother finally realized that he should not be unhappy with his life because he had a pretty good one compared to other people, including Sonny.
The brother was really cynical, which kind of bothered me. I'm glad that he changed and realized he was the creator of his destiny and if he was unhappy he could change it. He just had such a defeatest attitude. Sonny really gave him some perspective, and made him re-evaluate his attitude. I think we all need someone to show us that there are more important things in life than ourselves....Sonny could do us all some good!

Rappaccini's Daughter

Rappaccini's Daughter by Nathaniel Hawthorne is not one of my favorite stories. Unlike Clary I am really annoyed by his language. I always compare it to the language of Jane Austen, who I know wrote at a different time, but I feel like Hawthorne is trying to emulate that way of writing and it is just not as effective. It seems forced, like he was trying to hard to have this interestingly florid language that is highly intellectual. It just seems flat and I don't understand what he is trying to say. I know this makes me have to read slower and try to understand what the meaning of the story is, but it impairs my intake of the content. I feel like I haven't retained any of what Hawthorne was trying to say.

Also, the setting made me a little crazy because I am not sure if it is fairly factual or not. There is one point at the beginning of the story when he mentions Italy as a country....but I don't know if Italy was unified at the time when the story is set. He also mentions that Beatrice is like a tropical sunset, but would Giovanni or Hawthorne have seen a tropical sunset? 

I also question the character of Giovanni. I think he is very ungrateful and full of himself. When he is talking to Baglioni, he acts as if he doesn't respect him at all...but is just listening to him because he can get information out of him. And Baglioni, in turn, seems to be only using Giovanni. After they run into Rappaccini in the street, Hawthorne reveals that Baglioni could be jeaslous that Rappaccini is studying Giovanni...before Baglioni got the chance too. It is almost like he claimed Giovanni because he knew his father. 

I did notice this read that Hawthorne is very attentive in his writing. I have to wonder if that was intentional, to mirror the attentiveness of Rappaccini to his garden and science. It seems like Hawthorne really wants to give the reader hidden clues and meanings constantly. He also has a lot of foreshadowing thrown into the text. He always uses words that could describe a character in the end. Having read this before, I picked up on it more this time. However, my initial reaction to this story was not very positive, and it is the same this read. Unfortunately. 

Essay 1

I think I'm going to write about "Our Hurried Children" and how it relates to some of the sotires we have read in class. I am really interested in childhood and how our society deals with children and education. I'm excited!

I just wanted to add more to my ideas for my essay. I think I don't really want to focus that much on any of the fiction stories that we wrote. I am interested in early childhood education, and even though I know a lot about it, I still would like to expand my knowledge. I think in this essay I want to talk about different approaches to early childhood education and which ones seem to work. I went to a school that pioneered a focus on different education beliefs when i was younger, the school where my mother works now, so I have some personal experiences that can help me develop an argument.

I think I am going to do research on effectiveness of different techniques. I may actually visit my mother's school to see if I can pull anything from that. I would also love to involve other medias. I am trying to find a documentary about Reggio Amelia, the philosophy my mother's school adapts, or about childhood in general. I like using contrasting medias in my research. I am a visual person, so watching something impacts me more than reading about it.

I am still in the development stages, but I hope to get some books and find some documentaries and then I'll be on my way!

Our Hurried Children

Early childhood education is something that i find very interesting. I think it is probably because my mother works in a preschool that has done extensive research in early childhood education. I enjoyed reading Our Hurried Children by David Elkind because it shows the importance of having a childhood and what our society does to children. Even though this essay was written over 20 years ago, the material is still prevalent.

There is a balance that is lost when dealing with childhood. Sometimes there is immense pressure and stress put on children because it is thought that treating kids like adults is the best way to educate them. But then there is lost time to actually be a child in every sense. Children should not have to deal with the stresses of adulthood...schools are taking away play time and imaginations. And the opposite side is taking the approach that kids are mentally inferior and are not given credit to their amazingness. I know a child who, at 5 years old, taught herself how to play Imagine by John Lennon on the piano. She had no help whatsoever. This is an example of how much our society underestimates the power of the child brain.

I think our society needs to shift the views of children. I think we need to wake up and see that children have incredible power, and that they just don't have the outlets to exert that power. I know this must sound like some fanatic shpeel, but I really believe that we can learn so much from children. Just going to my mother's school and watching the children play and create things makes me feel so inadequate because I feel like my education has slanted my learning to just be book smart, and not be able to venture out into different mediums. The children are so well rounded, and happy. I think our educational system needs to be reformed to accommodate the different ways people learn.

So enough on education....

I'll do some more research and write another post soon.

A Good Man is Hard to Find

A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor is one of my favorite short stories. I like the sense of Karma in this story. It seems like the grandmother's whole life has led up to her encounter with the Misfit. She is this intensely annoying woman who talks all the time and doesn't really care about anything but her outward appearance. I don't think that she deserved the fate she got, but she definitely didn't lead a life that would repel any harm.

I think it is interesting how O'Connor used religion in this story. She was a very religious person, and so she involved morals into her stories. In this story, the grandmother uses religion to make herself look better to other people. She also uses religion as a bargaining tool with the Misfit. She says "If you would pray, Jesus would help you," to convince the Misfit that he is worthy of something better than killing people. It seems like she is only a good Christian when it is imperative to her survival.

I also think the grandmother's feelings towards her family are very telling to her true character. She seems to ignore all of what her son says, bringing her cat along, and disregards her daughter-in-law because she is not as worried about what the outside world thinks of her. The grandmother also thinks that her grandchildren are spoiled and seems to tolerate them, only because she has to. And her family, in turn, tolerates her, but not as much as she would like.

I am interested in her obsession with her appearance to the outside world. She is very concerned that she upholds a ladylike veneer, even if she was lying dead in a ditch. I think there were lots of old white southern ladies in the fifties who felt the same way. Society was a big part of how people acted. Today, we tend to relate to society, but don't let it run our lives. At least, i hope that's what happens.

There are so many facets to this story, it is hard to touch on everything. As I said before, this is one of my favorite short stories. It is complex and makes the reader think about the way they live their life. It makes us reflect on our characters and realize how our actions could play out in our lives. I think that shows powerful writing.

Once Upon A Time

I remember this story, and being incredibly confused by it the first time i read it. There was a lot more clarity this time, but I think that may have more to do with the fact that I remember a lot from our discussions last year. 

This story is a grotesque representation of children's stories. I can understand why Gordimer wrote about something so mature, to contrast to the normal lightheartedness of "once upon a time" themes. It is hard to believe that something so horrible as the result of this story actually happened; and I'm sure this instance was exaggerated, to some extent.

This story was set up differently than other stories...it started out with the voice of the writer, which is not necissarily Gordimer. Not many stories are told like they would be spoken; that may be another link to the African culture. I really enjoyed figuring this story out after I knew that it was based on the experiences of apartheid in South Africa. The story had a context, and made so much more sense.

You got a feel of anger and resentment from this story. Gordimer put the right spin on words to make them sting a bit after you read them, which is disturbing because they stay with you. It is really all you can think about for a few hours after you read it, it stays with you, which i guess is a good sign of great writing. 

I am excited to see what the people in the class have to say about this story; it was pretty controversial last year, in a way. I am interested to know how people will fit it in its place after they find out it is about apartheid, and how long it will take them to figure it out!

A & P

A & P is hard for me to dissect. Even though I have read it before. I think that Sammy represents boys and working class people because he seems exasperated by his surroundings. He acts like the A & P is the most boring place in his entire life, yet it is keeping him alive because it is providing his income. 

His descriptions of the girls is interesting; it makes me wonder how boys think of me. He really objectifies the girls, mentioning one of their butts as a "sweet can". He almost is repulsed by them; except for Queenie. He talks about her like he is not even worthy to look at her, and yet she is drawing attention to herself in the way that she hold herself. She walks like she never walked barefoot before, and her bathing suit straps have fallen down her shoulders. Sammy is entranced. 

The encounter between the girls and the manager is so awkward, it jumps off the page. I have never had an experience like that, but I can only imagine the embarassement. And Sammy embarasses himself by trying to be the girls' hero by quitting just out of their earshot. He realizes that by quitting, he compromises the rest of his life; he hinted that his family is not so well off, unlike the family of the girls who drink martinis and dress fancy.

This story has an undercurrent of social inequalities and the gaps in the classes. Sammy is a representation of a bigger societal struggle.

Where Are You Going, Part 2

I think the second half of this story is my favorite. I love finding hidden meanings in stories, and unravelling people's mindset. I like being a shrink. I find it so interesting how Connie shifts so dramatically. She is so full of herself, and has such a blase attitude about everything and everyone, and then Arnold shows up and she matures instantly. 

I also love hunting for hidden meanings, mostly about Arnold and Ellie; I love finding clues, going on a treasure hunt within the text. Last year, I wrote a paper about hoe Arnold Friend was a representation of the devil, and after reading the story again I solidified my ideas about him. I don't know if that may have more with my own imagination, that I'm making myself believe things that aren't really a part of the story. Perhaps I just see, or read, what I want to. I just want to sit down with Joyce Carol Oates and see what she has to say about the story. I wonder if she intended to put clues in the story, or they just kind of appeared. 

Well, this is one of my favorite short stories. I love the transformation of Connie. I love the links between music and the story. I love the way Arnold Friend moves, and the way he is physically, because that shows a lot about physical language, and what we say through out bodies and subconscious movements. I think this story is important for people to read because it shows something about out society, and how we perceive ourselves and others. I think it is almost a lesson for girls, even if it is fiction. I just love love love this story!

Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?

Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates is probably one of my favorite short stories. In class we just talked about the first part of the story where we are introduced to Connie, the main character. She is a conceited, immature girl who likes to think that she is so much cooler than she it. We talked about her relationship with her family and her relationship with boys...which plays a large part in the second half of the story.

One of my favorite things about this story is the presence of music. I love the tie that Oates used with the dedication to Bob Dylan, because his song was the inspiration for the story. I love that she payed some sort of homage to him by using music as a background for the setting of the story. It is mentioned a lot, and seems to parallel the story....i love little hints of themes within stories like that. 

I liked introducing a story that I love to the class.....even if they weren't too excited about it. I hope that they like it more once they read the second half!

The Power of Myth

I was a little bored during this movie. I am really interested in myth and prototypes, but Joseph Campbell kind of killed it. I think everything he has to say is incredibly interesting, but it almost put me to sleep because of his tone and the atmosphere of the movie. I really liked his references to Star Wars, though. I thought it was nice that he linked all of the old stories to new ones, and it really showed the parallels between the stories. I love thinking about the similarities in religion and myths from different culture, its so ironic that cutlures that are nothing alike have such similar myths.

Anyway, i liked the content, but the delivery was oh so sad.

First Blog!!!!!

First blog = AWESOME!!!!!


just so you know, English is coooool. I've been reading and writing my whole life, and even though it is not my passion or what i plan to do for the rest of my life, i still enjoy reading and writing.


i'm a dork. i know.